I've changed....

Life has been so crazy that I have forgotten to turn in my papers/work on the name change thing. I just dont have time.
I do have to say I have some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Suzanne, who is the sweetest girl ever, not only has endless confidence in me, but has embraced my name on a level I would have never expected.
I will say that I am having a bit of trouble on the queer and feminist fronts. A couple feminists do not call me Max or Maxine, but still insist on "Kerri" which writing it out right now looks weird. It really feels like its not part of my name. Other than my name, a lot of other changes have been happening to me. I like them, many are strange for where I was not six months ago. I have forgiven people and appologized for my quick temper and judgement. I try not to hate people and I am working on not getting angry unless it is justified. I've accepted my bisexuality and I care about a guy. I even like children, like babies. I have held Noah, Brittany's baby and June, Alecia's baby. Both times it felt alright. I didn't feel threatened or uncomfortable. I felt natural. But God-forbid I tell my queer friends any positive experience with men or children. Yes, I was a heinious bitch towards both parties, but I have changed. I wish people could see it. I tell Suzanne about how I was and she cannot believe that I was ever that way.  But I was and I have learned how much pain I have caused by being, that way. I hate the judgement. I have gone to Church the past two Sundays, but I needed to have the Doubt excuse to be allowed to go. LaNae started to freak over me going to Church, Addy threatened to jump out the window about the babies thing. I have to wonder what would happen if I was to date a man.